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The Family Room: Do's and Don'ts of Raising Godly Children


How to Ruin Your Kid for Life

Ten ways to ensure that your child will not succeed.

by Tricia Goyer

1. Give your kid everything he wants. Don’t deny what will truly make him happy. Overvalue money and things in his eyes.

2. Dress your child in designer clothes, no matter the cost. Show her that her outward appearance matters most of all.

3. Place your child’s needs over those of your spouse. If she cries, run to her immediately. If she interrupts, give her your full attention.

4. Entertain your child throughout the day. If she wants to play tea, put your plans aside. If she wants to watch her favorite movie for the hundredth time, forget your idea of going for a walk and getting some sunshine.

5. Plan your menu around your child’s desires. No child should have to eat something he doesn’t like. If, by chance, you want to make something other than macaroni and cheese or peanut butter and jelly, feel free to cook your own meal, just as long as you have time to fix what your child likes.

6. Sign your child up for as many extracurricular activities as she desires, even if it means giving up your evening plans on a regular basis. Don’t worry about trying to gather around the dinner table either. He can only be in the junior soccer league for so long, and you don’t want him to miss out.

7. Don’t discipline your child when she acts up. Everyone should learn to express herself in her own way. If she demands something, then applaud her efforts. At least you know that she will not be a pushover or a doormat in this world.

8. Don’t worry when your child fights with neighbor kids or even when he is a bully. Life is not fair, and someone always has to be the underdog. At least your child is learning to elbow his way to the top at a young age.

9. When your child has a disagreement with her teacher, always choose your child’s side. Don’t show up when the teacher wants to discuss your child’s problems. The teacher will want to take a course of disciplinary action and that’ll hurt your child’s feelings.

10. Don’t share your faith with your child. After all, you don’t want to offend. Let your child decide if she wants to hear Bible stories. And don’t pressure her to memorize Scripture verses. She might get disheartened if she doesn’t get it right the first time and you’ll ruin her self-esteem. More than that, you don’t want her to know there’s a God who runs the universe, makes the rules, and determines eternity. The thought is too hard, and your child might not understand. More than that, she won’t be self-dependent and strive to be a good person. Copyright ©2011 by Tricia Goyer. Used by permission. This article originally appeared on MomLife Today®, FamilyLife's blog for moms.

10 Ideas: Connecting With Your Kids

In today’s activity-packed society, it’s more important than ever to intentionally connect with your kids.

by Mary May Larmoyeux

Children are a heritage from the Lord. Psalm 127:3

In today’s activity-packed society, it’s more important than ever to intentionally connect with your kids. Here are 10 ideas that can help you get to know your children better and pass on a legacy of faith and fun.

1. During dinner ask everyone to share one piece of both good news and bad news from the day.

2. Have regular “Kids’ Nights to Cook.” Set up a restaurant atmosphere in your home and create some lifetime memories. Little ones will enjoy decorating the table and making special menus for the evening.

3. Visit a local bookstore with your children and ask them to help you choose a family devotional. Then work through it together.

4. If you have a sports enthusiast in your home, ask him or her to give you and your spouse regular updates about what’s going on in the world of sports—both locally and nationally.

5. Do a one-on-one activity with each child at least once a week.

6. Take turns choosing Bible verses that the entire family can memorize together. Using a special journal or notebook, ask the children to record each verse after the family has memorized it together.

7. Once a week after mealtime, draw names to see who will be in the “hot seat.” (Discard each name after it is drawn so everybody will eventually be chosen.) Family members will ask the person in the “hot seat” a question that cannot be answered “Yes” or “No.”

8. When bringing the kids to school, take turns being prayer warriors—praying for each person’s day.

9. After dinner, rotate sharing a “joke of the day.”

10. Have regular family nights doing something fun that everyone enjoys. You may want to select one of the 48 activities in Kurt and Olivia Bruner’s Just Add Family—Easy Recipes for Faith-Filled Fun (for ages 10 and under). Click here to see a sample.

Copyright © 2008 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved. FamilyLife is a donor-supported ministry offering practical and biblical resources and events to help you build a godly marriage and family.

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